Damn, He Got A Point

There is just something about 90 days. Checks go void if not cashed in 90 days. Warranties expire in 90 days. Some contractual clauses end in 90 days. Is there something special about three month rules? Must be so, much like Val (character on "Single Ladies"), many women have this period in which she won't be intimate with someone she's talking to. Often times you hear the three month or 90 day period talked about a lot. This is a strategy I believe and I think it is used for a variety of reasons. One reason could be to weed out guys a woman may think is a little suspect. Another reason may be that she would like to get to know someone clearly before deciding whether or not she wants to be involved. There are many scenarios in which this "rule" is implemented. My question tonight is does this help or hurt the getting to know or courting process? Of course you're getting the young man's point of view but I may not have the response you expect. I fir...

Many times when there is a problem involving me or not I don't usually get upset at what was done, but I seek to find why something was done. There's a cause for everything, and your reasons for doing what you do will dictate how you treat a situation. When you have pure intentions how you handle problems or issues would be different in contrast to if you didn't have pure intentions. I strongly think you cannot look for love and that with the right people and the right time you'll be able to experience that feeling with someone. You can't just create that on your own it has to be some kind of organic progression based on mutual respect at the very least. I think love commands respect. I compare that to athletes and how it's always said they should respect the game. What's meant by that is to know all that comes with the game, don't underestimate the work that goes into being great. Also be cognizant that your career could be over at any point, or to alw...

I know you're wondering where I'm going to start....I'm wondering too. To the women reading this boy do I know you have enough thoughts running through your head just based off the title. That's fine and dandy and that's exactly what I want. To the fellas reading this I'm just wondering if you ever seen things my way. I'm going to go out on a limb and assume all of us have had the "minute man" experience. A guy cums quick and _____ may ensue after. Depending on who you are you fill in that blank. As a guy you probably been through this enough through the years probably less as you got older. For the women this issue is a disappointment to say the least for the most part. I'm not here to stick up for anyone who cums quick or nothing like that. I'm just here to bring to light an observation for the fellas. Now I often believe women cannot imagine what it could possibly feel like being inside of them. The whole sexual act is based on you (the ...

It's quite hard to trust isn't it? For whatever your circumstance you're eventually faced with a dilemma. You know that ideally you can't not trust anyone ever in your life again. That is just irrational. We are human and we all need to and should be able to confide in others. There's a period of time when after we've been hurt you retreat a bit from everything. You don't put trust in much and that's purely a defense mechanism. We all reserve and deserve the right to always protect ourselves. Everyone goes through that point and I doubt anyone would blame you for it. With that being said, there comes a time in which you have to let go and simply start from scratch. You have to trust again. You don't necessarily have to trust the person who hurt you, but you have to trust in general. Other people can't be punished for another person's transgression. I've said it too many times before but you have to make a smart choice. You have to look ...

This is a struggle if there ever was one. Having wants and needs are normal and for some there's an invisible line of ambiguity in which they mistake one for the other many times. This is a struggle we have in different facets. In school it may be partying over studying. In a buffet it's the proverbial case of having your "eyes bigger than your stomach." That means putting more on your plate than you actually need to be eating. But in relationships there may be painful ramifications confusing wants and needs; and it needs to be clear. There are solid themes through a lot of my writing. I'm all about strong sense of self, being assertive making decisions for you and what's healthy for your circumstance. In an article I wrote for my school magazine call "Titles vs Relationships," I touched on wants versus needs. I spoke of wanting relationships at times when maybe you don't need one. In an article for my school paper called "If Loving You Is...

I have a saying I have now coined as of late which goes "There's nothing worse than a woman who feels justified." That may strike accord and luckily for you...and obviously, I will explain. When I say there's nothing worse than a justified woman I'm referring to those women who are "wrong and strong." Wrong and strong meaning you don't listen to reason, and you always feel you have things figured out. Those kinds of people don't take their own advice and quite frankly piss off others due to their own ignorance. A justified woman can also translate into a woman who also feels entitled, and this I'll now divulge more. I recently saw an episode of "Single Ladies" and the character Lisa Raye plays always has a game she runs on the fellas she sees. In this particular episode a guy she was seeing had sex with her, and didn't call her back. She was highly offended even though she has probably done the same in her past. I couldn't ...

I firmly believe as you get older and experience some things your mindset changes some as well. The greatest players have to adjust their game as they get older in order to still stay productive. We as men and women, athletes or not are no different. At about 12 or 13 years old my idea of the perfect girl was what I and my friend Terrence coined "The 4 B's." These "B's" were breast,booty,brains, and beauty. Jocular now, but we were dead serious back then. Of course this simply shows some ignorance of our age but nevertheless when you never been emotionally involved with someone it seems that simple. At every level of my life my taste has changed somewhat. Things that once mattered heavily to me may not matter as much now, and some things that didn't do. I'm well aware 9 years later that no breast and no booty doesn't mean a girl ain't perfect for me. Conversely maybe there is one woman with breast and booty it is lol. All jokes aside I think...

As a sports fan like I often say I get a lot of analogies that help me with figuring out things in myself and relationships. I use analogies such as "let the game come to you" or "take what the defense gives you." That pretty much means you let whatever space a person gives you to operate, then you operate within that. So if a girl hugs you, when you see her you can go for a hug, if you get a kiss on the cheek next time you initiate the kiss on the cheek. This cycle can be applied to many things. It's sort of like a "counter punch" mentality. If you don't watch boxing a counter punch is the punch you throw back at your opponent after you've been hit. So you counter punch, if somethings going to go anywhere then there's got to be some reciprocity. My analogy I coined for today is call "Trust Your Offense." In most sports involving a ball if not all of them, you are in a place of advantage when the ball is in your possession. When ...

I just got into a great discussion on twitter with a couple of my fellas on the topic of infidelity. One of my friends simply said that if a girl cheated on him he'd take them back. Another one of my friends responded saying he can't see how he could take someone back after something like that. So what would you do? I personally have been cheated on and I've been someone whom people have cheated with but I have never cheated. Sounds bad I guess; I know, but to me this is just life. Everyone's learning lessons and earning stripes and lord knows after my first heartbreak that was enough for me to start handling my emotions and women differently. I believe people should get second chances without a doubt. Things always happen, no one is perfect and there are sometimes confounding variables you always have to take into effect i.e. maturity, attention you give, drinking and so on. Now the variables aren't excuses, they just give a better idea towards what the motive was....

Ever wanted someone and it seemed like a chase? There's a line between chase and stalk. If you're stalking the chances are the person you're pursuing isn't remotely as interested as you are. But if there is some mutual interest shared maybe there's a little chase involved. I can't really speak for guys because I'm not sure if they do it. I never really heard of a guy who plays hard to get. I sort of don't think guys are hard to get. If they figure a woman wants them and they're interested then more times than not there's no wasted motion. The majority of the time I guess you can say we have a "say no more," "just let me know when" kind of mentality. Some women do play this game though. Maybe it's fun for them, or maybe it's out of necessity. Out of fun maybe because they think it's cute, and maybe they enjoy that whole courting process. I think that's fine, whatever works for you. Some women I think like to giv...

50 cent has this line in a Ja Rule diss song where he says "You's a pop tart sweetheart; you soft in the middle" it's a funny line but it's analogy I always use when referring to someone being quote unquote soft. I think we all have a soft spot for maybe one or two significant people (lovers) in our lives. For whatever reason some people will just be that special to you. I don't think there's anything wrong with this just as long as you being vulnerable to them isn't toxic to yourself. What am I saying? It's very possible sometimes we may care too much for the wrong people. This varies by case, and everyone may not experience it it. But there are some people whom you have a special place in your heart for who may continuously hurt or disappoint you. This is when I would say you have to re-evaluate some things. It's never easy to let go of someone you care about. At the same token you also can't continue to have your emotions be at the mercy...

Today I took a break from job searching and what not and just chilled. Of course in that, I spent time just in thought and thinking of more scenarios to get into that I could possibly write about. I began to think of something that I thought was pretty interesting. There is a pull and tug in relationships between both parties....what do I mean? The ultimate goal is to keep each other happy. This is a job in itself simply because you are two different people. No matter how much you try to appease one another, eventually something else will rear it's ugly head. With that being said there's a constant give and take involved, that's just fact. You either have to embrace compromise or just be single if you don't want to :-/ up to you. There is a constant mental game that goes on in which you are pretty much picking your battles. This doesn't mean by any means that your relationship is in bad shape, you're just constantly trying to make sure you're keeping the pe...

Isn't it interesting how we meet people? With so many ways these days of meeting people, we pretty much meet who we meet by chance. There's something real special about meeting people and getting along. Just as easily as you meet these people you could've easily not have met them. It may be this same reason why people meet and they may like each other but both parties want different things. There's nothing really wrong with this, you all meeting was most likely not orchestrated. That being said differences in what you both want are almost bound to happen. You have to be lucky to find someone wanting the same thing you want at the same time. This makes the relationship that much more special. Let's say for example you r last relationship wasn't what you wanted and now you find yourself in something that you did want....then it's time to jump for joy! That great feeling comes from finally being on the same page with someone. Some of this is genuine and some o...