No Takebacks?


I just got into a great discussion on twitter with a couple of my fellas on the topic of infidelity. One of my friends simply said that if a girl cheated on him he'd take them back. Another one of my friends responded saying he can't see how he could take someone back after something like that. So what would you do? I personally have been cheated on and I've been someone whom people have cheated with but I have never cheated. Sounds bad I guess; I know, but to me this is just life. Everyone's learning lessons and earning stripes and lord knows after my first heartbreak that was enough for me to start handling my emotions and women differently.

I believe people should get second chances without a doubt. Things always happen, no one is perfect and there are sometimes confounding variables you always have to take into effect i.e. maturity, attention you give, drinking and so on. Now the variables aren't excuses, they just give a better idea towards what the motive was. Guys sorry to say are just guys. Not ALL fellas are bad but truth is many guys especially in my age group like having their main woman and a nice supporting cast surrounding her. Sounds very bad to you ladies, but to fellas it all makes sense. I saw a tweet today from a female friend saying " I don't want a night partner I want a life partner." To men ages 18-24 I'd say that's pretty intimidating. most men aren't approaching you with that mindset at all, it's way more subtle than that. I say that to say that the motives for cheating are very different between men and women. Men I guess have this greedy trait, they enjoy having multiple women and having options. Women are usually emotionally invested a lot sooner so if they do cheat you better believe it's usually making up for something lacking emotionally. Of course there are some cases where someone isn't being pleased sexually and sometimes people need that fix. Doesn't make it right but it makes it reality.

What would I do? Ideally I would give a second chance. To me it makes sense to if I feel she's sincere in saying what she's saying. The curve ball comes in where you try to figure out why he/she cheats. Were these people not fulfilled sexually? Were these people just greedy? Were these people simply looking for an attention they weren't receiving? i say you take someone back if you think you can work on whatever was said that was lacking. I have a 2 strikes and you're out rule. If someone messes up again then hey you're not too surprised and you start from scratch. Things happen in real life and it's easy to tell people not to judge until you're in the same shoes. So take some emotion out and really think about it especially if you could ever be called guilty of the same behavior.

Comments

  1. Your CousinJune 7, 2011 at 12:05 AM

    One fundamental rule: "no cheatin, no beatin." one strike, you're out.

    ReplyDelete
  2. GracieJune 7, 2011 at 3:26 PM

    I totally agree the above comment, but at time we as women tend to forget we are very emotional and forgiving creatures, well at least on my part, and if you love someone enough and feel that there is room for improvement, you end up taking that person back time after time if their intentions are in the right place despite their faults

    ReplyDelete

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