About "Pops"



My name is Kahlil Haywood. I am a graduate of Long Island University - C.W. Post. I received a Bachelor Of Arts in Psychology. My blog chronicles many of my ideas through the many conversations I have with others. What you will find here is pretty candid banter from a very humble place. I do not profess to be perfect or have all the answers. I make mistakes all the time. But I have found joy in learning from them.

This blog is meant to provoke thought and spark conversations. My hope is for who ever reads my posts is that they are as interested in understanding their partner or partners as much as I am. I want them to want to understand the world a bit better. I want us to understand each other better as men and women. Our differences always fascinates me. At the root of it all we have to be willing to compromise some things in order to make any relationship work.

Do me a favor, follow me on twitter here @DamnPOPS . Be sure to drop a line and keep up with me.

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Why Does The "WYD Guy" Exist and How Do We Get Rid of Him?

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It baffles me that in my late 20's I still hear stories about guys who lack conversational skills. I've alluded to this in past pieces, one of which you can check out here . That piece was written over 3 years ago. Today this type of guy is labeled as the "wyd guy." He's the dude that texts "wyd" ad nauseam throughout a given day.  Over the past few months, I've noticed that women continue to deal with this kind of person. I was curious to know what some experiences were like for you ladies. I reached out to a few good women to pick their brain. Hopefully you all share the goods. Let's get into it. Have you seen a decline in male conversational skills through the years? Tass :  First question. I haven't seen any studies suggesting a decline in the conversational skills of men. What I personally see is the continuation of low expectations and accountability for men unable to have strong communication skills outside of business/sport...
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Maybe A Man Should Love A Woman More Than She Loves Him?

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Courtesy: Everything Girls Love It's been 6 years since The Best Man Holiday released.  After going out to catch that movie, a conversation ensued where I heard the phrase that a man should love a woman more than she loves him. Naturally, I wrote about it. You can read the piece here.  At the time I didn't agree with the phrase and I saw it more at a surface level. But with time, experience and growth, I now view the phrase differently. Initially I felt like people should go into relationships as equals in pretty much every sense. But as of late, I've been thinking about what kind of man I'd want a future child of mine to date, or my niece, or any other lady family member for that matter. What began to occur was that I started thinking about what it means to date deliberately. What is trying to be accomplished? I realized that no matter what, I'm trying to convey that the said person is my clear choice. The whole idea of a man "loving" a ...
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Maybe Men Are Trash

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Admittedly, in younger years I was one of those "not all men" type of men.  Please bare with me as I feel the collective eye rolls of any woman reading this. But in recent times I'm noticing that what I was doing in those former moments was not taking myself out of the equation. At the time I thought that I was, but I really wasn't. In recent years, through my dating journeys and speaking with different women, I realize that there are just way too many horror stories about men out there. In the past I've touched on subjects like first date conversations , or the corniness of leaking nudes , or guys being selfish in bed , but the issues I continue to hear far surpass even any of those things. I mean I've heard stories of men lacking taking initiative or just not possessing common courtesy. Hell, men paying on dates still rile up anyone's timeline. I began to think that there are way too many egregious transgressions we commit as men to disagree with what th...
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