Wants vs Needs

This is a struggle if there ever was one. Having wants and needs are normal and for some there's an invisible line of ambiguity in which they mistake one for the other many times. This is a struggle we have in different facets. In school it may be partying over studying. In a buffet it's the proverbial case of having your "eyes bigger than your stomach." That means putting more on your plate than you actually need to be eating. But in relationships there may be painful ramifications confusing wants and needs; and it needs to be clear.

There are solid themes through a lot of my writing. I'm all about strong sense of self, being assertive making decisions for you and what's healthy for your circumstance. In an article I wrote for my school magazine call "Titles vs Relationships," I touched on wants versus needs. I spoke of wanting relationships at times when maybe you don't need one. In an article for my school paper called "If Loving You Is Wrong..." (http://postpioneer.wordpress.com/2011/01/26/damn-he-got-a-point-%E2%80%9Cif-loving-you-is-wrong%E2%80%A6%E2%80%9D/) I talked about maybe having to let go of someone for your own well being. Today I take a little different look at things.

I have always had a problem understanding why some people have such problems being single. I love relationships and what they're about but there's some people who see a relationship from one point and it's just the fact that someone is there. That's just not enough for me. Too many times I've seen hurt women who stay with someone through the worst of circumstances because they feel needed, or they'll miss the companionship. NONE of this is worth risking your well being physically or emotionally. Being single does so much for your growth. Some people may wonder how I give so much advice being single and i tell them it's because relationship issues aren't exclusive to only relationships (labeled as such). I've felt everything relationships come with even without having an official girlfriend in so long.

Being single has allowed me to refine what kind of woman I want at this time in my life. The truth is I would have loved to be in a relationship during college on several occasions with several people but ultimately I wanted to put my energy toward performing at a level that I always wanted to. For me being in a relationship would have hindered some of that attention, and in my final year that would have been a crucial error. In that scenario alone I had to distinguish a want and a need. At that time I NEEDED no woman, but I did NEED those grades; bad at that.
I'm not knocking relationship life, if respected and if genuinely done it's a beautiful thing. In recent years I have grown to understand why some people feel the need to always be with someone. Some people say it's just lack of a strong family background, some people are simply lonely. It just alarms me to think someone can't be totally happy with themselves for a period. Being single should give you that time to build yourself up and look at other people's situations objectively. Ladies and gentlemen live your life in accordance to your circumstances, your mind never fails you. Make sure your mind and necessities are right before getting into anything else.
When you do get involved with someone then you can enter with a clear mind and give more fully of yourself; it'll give the best chance for things to go well...isn't that what you wanted to sign up for?