Damn, He Got A Point

What I discuss today I've probably touched on before in past posts. I wanted to take a look at our experiences while dating and courting. I've said before that men and women simply have different mentalities. Men have a way more laid back mentality towards relationships and women are really geared towards finding "the one" sooner than later. This of course is really a manifestation of the gender roles we're placed in growing up, and how we're raised in society. With that being said women are normally heard extremely upset and disappointed about the ending of one situation. In a previous post called "Teach Me A Lesson," I discussed making sure you take something away from every situation and use it as a learning experience. Today I want to expand on that. It's kind of the notion of everything happening for a reason. There's a religious philosophy of God putting you through bad situations in order for you to I suppose gain a stronger faith, and...

As I continue to read the book "The Conversation" by Hill Harper, I continue to have my eyes opened. I read many things that I was already aware of, and I've also read some things that have given me a different perspective on things. In my readings today something real potent grabbed my attention. Hill was making a distinction between a woman wanting fidelity, not necessarily commitment. For the first time I was seeing it this way. There's a clear dichotomy between commitment and fidelity. As I've said many times before on this blog, these ladies have been through a lot. By the time most women are 22 they're pretty much fed up. They lose sight of what a commitment is because it may have been violated so many times before. What you now begin to hear as a priority for women is that they want a man to be faithful. Committing to them has now become strictly fidelity. Men are guilty as well as we may hear commitment and automatically think jail. That mentality stun...

It's pretty safe to say we all have a "type" by now; if not physically at least in terms of personality. What you figure is your type may not always be good for you, but that's another story. My point really is that there are certain qualities that give a relationship a better chance than others. It's not always going to be the case that you find that, so we kind of just go with the flow till we do. You can't always just build those qualities from the ground up. We as people have a clear idea of what we like when we see it. I had this idea that some people you know, or talk to even if they're just a friend have a potential. I call it a potential for love, or "The Look of Love." There's people you sometimes see and think that you can really build something with them. Now on the surface one would say that if this be the case then always go for that person. Conversely just as any rule there are exceptions. And in this hectic realm of relations c...

I want to take a look at something today that I think should be deciphered. I think more men than not believe that they have to be somewhat "tough" for a woman. They may think that she enjoys the aggression. I think some women do enjoy "bad boys" or aggressive guys, and some enjoy it in excess. I have a stronger feeling though that women really just don't want a guy that is a pushover. They don't want a man that's afraid of confrontation. There's a difference between avoiding confrontation and being afraid of it. A smart person would avoid it, but if confrontation confronts you, and you are the protector, then something's got to give. Which guy are you? Don't ever get hung up on this tough guy talk. To run around all day looking for problems is pretty asinine. Like Kat Williams said "You gang banging on bacon nigga?" Don't gang bang on bacon please. These women at the end of the day want to be sure of who they're rolling w...

If we all had it our way, all our dreams would come true just when we wanted them to. We wouldn't have hardships, we'd just be cruising through. Truth is that's not impossible... for many of us at least. Some people do have it easy, they "luck out." That's fine and dandy but for the rest of us we need to understand some things. In every facet of live we're going to have to work for our happiness. Don't be down about the idea, because if you want to be happy you'll make it happen. As it relates to relationships understand there are going to be many ways to your happiness. Unfortunately what you envision your situation to be may not exactly be that way at the moment. I'm a believer that things happen when they're supposed to and that's something that can't be rushed. If you're with someone that you feel is "the one," then that's a beautiful thing. Them being "the one" definitely doesn't mean there's...

It's been said we're born with sin. But when we're young none of us are aware of that. That statement has a connotation of responsibility for choices you make. But when we're young we have a sense of innocence. You learn differences between right and wrong eventually but you still have a joy and curiosity about the world around you. The world's so new to you that you get excited about the simplest things, there's no ego it's just the joy of the moment. I think it's important that we don't lose that element of life as we grow. We can't allow our heads to be too gassed up by others. It pays to be humble. If you keep in touch with your inner child's innocence, many of life's normal occurrences will still hold intrigue. For example if you're 25 years old, you've probably been on many dates. But if you still allow yourself to be flattered when asked out you will allow yourself to have an even better time. I'm not saying to think l...

I've been reading a few blogs lately, and there's been one underlying theme; maturation. For the past few days I've been reading blogs that speak to the subject of dating etiquette for a grown man. I'm no Geoffrey the Butler, but I was soon to be taken back by it. I continue to think we all mature in the same ways, and we just don't. Unfortunately many men didn't have great examples of gentlemen in their lives, and that's not their fault either. But it's our jobs to try and put these guys on. Now don't get it twisted I will go on record and say ALL women do not deserve that gentlemen like treatment. The ones that do treat that guy with respect and don't force any expectation out of him. A guy sees someone who ain't asking for much but its real chill and respectful...JACKPOT! A smart man... a man that knows better with be that gentleman toward you. The man that isn't that gentleman won't even know the quality before him and he'd fu...

Are your dreams like mine? Are your dreams pretty much like many others? You know the whole idea of financial security and the complete nuclear family. Having a loving relationship, obedient children, and a career you love. It sounds lovely and I happen to believe it's highly attainable. Of course these things will not fall in your lap, you got to bust your ass for it and even that's easier said than done. More times than not you're going to really have to go through it to reap these benefits. They say you gotta kiss a lot of frogs to get to your Prince....what the fellas got to do to get to their queen lol? No but really to kind of continue a past post i wrote entitled "Teach Me A Lesson," You have to take your different relationships for what they were. I think sometimes your whole philosophy on relationships have to change. We have to appreciate our lessons, whether they were in our favor or not. In my mind to learn these lessons is a privilege. We don't ...

I went to sleep a little early because of a headache, but now I'm up and my mind races. Something comes to mind. This is a very prevalent issue, and I look to not make excuses, but only bring awareness. Women have a legit problem with today's man, maybe even yesterday's for that matter. Who's to blame for this problem, well let's find out. Women have problems with men not wanting to commit or problems with men who aren't patient enough to wait to be physical with them. A man is always trying to rush them it seems. Makes us fellas look bad right? Sure it does, some people spoil it for all of us like the bad kid in a class. But what has men this way? I'll tell you what, I won't attribute it to our "nature," no; this time it's different. I look back to my own situations and how I've evolved with women over the past 8 years or so. What I find is that when I really first began having experiences with women, they weren't asking for nothin...

I'd like to think that most males are very prideful people. A real man takes pride in many of the responsibilities bestowed upon him. Males are expected to be breadwinners, they're looked to for being assertive and strong sources of support. Real men are raised to know and learn these types of things, the result of which leaves us with our chests out so to speak. To be prideful is great, I think it's needed in life, it helps you carry yourself that much better. But there is a thin line between pride and ignorance. I was having a conversation with a friend of mine who was complaining about a guy she was seeing. She started off speaking of him highly, she listed all the great things he does for hr and the family. I was wondering what the hell could be wrong? As the story turns out this guy wasn't pleasing her in the bedroom like she wanted. Apparently dude was hitting way off the mark and she wanted to find a way to let him know discreetly. I explained that you have to di...

Often times I make many references to sports since I have such a passion for them. I also have a passion for speaking about male and female relationships, so many times I intertwine the two. I was speaking to one of my cousins just now about different things, of course mainly involving men and women. Some how I began speaking in terms of supply and demand. I explained to my cousin that at some point or another we are star free agents in this game of love and lust. At some point in our careers we will be scouted and we will be sought after. As free agents we scope the scene, we weigh options and then we make decisions. When you're a star player you take many things under consideration and truth be told some teams are a better fit for you than others. But during this whole recruiting process you wonder as the player "What's in it for me?" The teams seeking you are basically selling themselves to you. They will paint the greatest picture to entice you to go with them. ...

If you have learned nothing else from different things I have written on my blog, you have definitely learned that men and women are different. We will always be different, and the art of handling our differences s is what sets the single from the "cuffed." Commitment will always be the name of the game, commitment or lack thereof. It's either people wanting to be committed or people not wanting to be. People who want to be committed don't usually have many reasons to be committed they just usually like the sense of security and the whole vibe of being in a relationship. It is a beautiful thing being with someone you can make it work with. You will find that the people who don't want to be in relationships or aren't in one have way more reasons not to be in one. They are either hurt and recovering, don't want to be bothered, or haven't found the right person. I think everyone can commit it's just a matter of the right mix of people. It does take t...

It's human nature for us to become complacent. We all get comfortable at some point. The perfect analogy is a Christmas give you had been wanting oh so bad for the longest...and you finally get it!! Now I can speak for myself when i say as soon as batteries died it seemed like forever till new batteries were bought, and after that initial joy it just seemed different. I got used to the toy, the uncertainty of me having this toy added to it's allure, and it's the same when dealing with each other. We can't lose our passions and motives. People often say they enjoy the chase, and I agree that the chase sometimes presents a good challenge but there are certain things in life you can't afford to lose. That lust for life we have as youngsters can never be lost if we wish to progress, and if you want things to stay the same in your relationships you can't lose what got you to that point. They say "You dance with who brought you," meaning that you have to con...