Commitment vs Fidelity

As I continue to read the book "The Conversation" by Hill Harper, I continue to have my eyes opened. I read many things that I was already aware of, and I've also read some things that have given me a different perspective on things. In my readings today something real potent grabbed my attention. Hill was making a distinction between a woman wanting fidelity, not necessarily commitment. For the first time I was seeing it this way. There's a clear dichotomy between commitment and fidelity.

As I've said many times before on this blog, these ladies have been through a lot. By the time most women are 22 they're pretty much fed up. They lose sight of what a commitment is because it may have been violated so many times before. What you now begin to hear as a priority for women is that they want a man to be faithful. Committing to them has now become strictly fidelity. Men are guilty as well as we may hear commitment and automatically think jail. That mentality stunts the potential of what a good relationship could be.

Fidelity in reality is only one part of commitment. Most early on may not see it as such. But commitment is really a willingness to make it work, being faithful if part of that, but it's not all of it. People understand commitment comes with way more than they could ever think of. The thought of that can be intimidating. Commitment equals willingness. You have to really be willing to sacrifice if you really want to commit to someone. If you're not ready to make compromises then maybe you're just not ready... and that's perfectly fine. I just wanted to bring up the point that fidelity isn't commitment; willingness is.