Posts

Showing posts from September, 2010

Bad Habits

Image
So much of who we are is a result of nurture. In Psychology, and in biology period there's always the issue of nature versus nurture. In our relationships, that's basically what creates our issues, and our joys. Things that are our nature are usually things we have come to expect from one another. Nurture issues on the other hand are the things we seem to have the least amount of patience for. Our bad habits as people come from our upbringings or lack thereof. The disrespect women receive from men can be traced to how they were taught to treat women. The insecurities women feel can be derived from a parent putting them down or a father not expressing just how much his daughter is worth. There has to come a time at which this is no longer acceptable. I'm not trying to say that it is acceptable to begin with, but as you get older we should get rid of some childish ways right? It repulses me to see women disrespected. I was raised by a woman, and either to my credit or not I...

Getting The Rug Pulled

Image
You guys ever get caught off guard? I figured, it's no fun at all. It's great when things are in your control or at least you have a good barometer of how well a situation is going. It's a pretty strange and hard thing to deal with when you get caught off guard. When you think everything is well in the world and it really isn't you can't help but feel shitty. These kinds of situations is where you try to convince yourself that you're not bothered by it....but you may be fooling everyone but yourself. When you get the rug pulled from under you you almost feel helpless sometimes. When someone decides they don't want to deal with you in a certain capacity anymore it's almost like a slight feeling of rejection. If it's not a feeling of rejection it at least takes you back. How do you handle such a thing? I'm not too sure to be honest, but I do know that somehow things will turn around. Situations such as this really deserves their own time for you to...

Patterns

Image
It if often said that we as humans are creatures of habit. We find comforts and get used to them. We are all notoriously guilty of the disease called complacency. I'm not sure if it pays to be complacent in any sense of the word. Nevertheless there are some things that seem to define us, some of which probably shouldn't. In therapy many times a therapist is looking for connections, correlations, and patterns. He or she is looking for causes and effects. Many times they may ask you to look within yourself and see what you find. Today I talk about patterns; negative ones. Since I don't know you all I'd have to relate it to myself somewhat. Lately I've been wondering if there are things I should change about who I look to date. I've actually been content with everything in my life but for the past few years I've found that the people i grow the closest to seem to have problems i much rather not have to share in. Some of these problems range from drug addictions...

Under The Influence

Image
I watched a video on youtube last week in regard to women, and how they "price their pussy." As jocular as the video was the man in it made some great points. Although he surely comes off as brash and some may consider him an asshole; he spoke the truth. I was surely blown away by his candid rhetoric and I had no choice but to at least respect that. In the video I found that he made one very poignant point. He proceeded to say that women are in competition with each other trying to see the highest "price" they could get for their pussy. When he referred to price he didn't necessarily mean money, but gifts and dates as well etc. When I thought of it I thought it made perfect sense. In my mind there's an eclectic group of women in their circle. Give or take one or two, you have a cuffed chick, a chick that has something she's messing with, a chick that is in a bad situation that wants out, and your proverbial single woman. Now even at times in my own circ...

Lady In The Streets......

Image
So my good friend Nhya wanted to know my opinion on something. It just so happens that I read a similar article on the topic yesterday over on bitchielife. Generally speaking the topic is based on men loving freaks but not respecting "hoes." What's my take? Those two things are way different from one another. And I'm about to get into why. Men love them some freaks... I can't see why not. In the article i read yesterday the writer made a great point. He said in so many words that men would allow their woman to go as far as they wanted sexually, up to the point where they weren't being degraded. I agree, of course there's not much I find degrading lol. But it gives great insight into how a man thinks. Chris Rock says men can't go backwards sexually and women can't go back in terms of lifestyle. A man needs things interesting, they want surprises, they want their woman to be nasty, just not at the risk of her own dignity. Now a man wouldn't res...

Stay In Character

Image
I was in thought the other day (as per usual) and I was really thinking about how many of us mean well. I have to speak from a male's perspective because I'm not too sure how women act amongst themselves as many of them seem to not like each other. But I had this idea that a man's inner circle of male friends see exactly who he is all of the time. What I mean is that many times women may think a guy is the worst thing in the world, but for some reason his friends never see that in him. A man's friends see the good in him when women seem not to. This in turn makes these women upset and leads them to think we're encouraging the negative behavior. Are we? Well unfortunately we do encourage it if we know someone may be in the wrong and we don't tell them. I know it seems like a proverbial male code that's not supposed to be broken. The truth is you have to tell people what they don;t want to hear. Once you voice your opinion that's all you can do. If you ...

Tug of War Part 2

Image
The struggles and triumphs men go through with themselves will manifest itself in their relationships. They will bring the good along with the bad. If they are consciously working towards becoming better people it would make everything else much more easier to deal with. The struggles a woman has with herself is vastly different than that of a man. She's fighting more than a struggle with herself. She's fighting perceptions of culture and society as a whole. Women in general seemingly fight an uphill battle from birth. They're constantly looking for a respect they feel is rightfully theirs, in which I agree. It's obvious men aren't always aware of the amount of disadvantages women seem to have, even down to the disparity in wages between men and women. Our society continues to maintain a primitive mindset at times. Once again I have to say we have to learn to be more understanding as men. Sometime we just have to "take the L," let shorty vent, some days wi...

Tug of War Part 1

Image
Life is a constant struggle. That's not to say that life is always cumbersome, but gives it's fair share of challenges. Amongst many of it's challenges, we face battles amongst ourselves. It's not easy, the world expects a lot out of us and we expect a whole lot out of ourselves as well. From the male perspective as we grow it's only right we go through an emotional metamorphosis. There are certain things we should begin to learn about ourselves. As we get older the name of the game is "doing," the time for talk dwindles as we age. As men we should always be looking to better ourselves. To try and be inspired everyday is a great start. We struggle with our growth simply being so accustomed to our juvenile ways. It's never an easy thing to step into uncharted territory, but some things need to happen in order to grow. Grasping the idea of manhood is something a responsible person would look to do. After all, one of the main differences between a man and...

All Natural

Image
If you're a regular reader, or if you know me then you know I'm a huge advocate for patience. They say that patience is a virtue, and I think that's nothing but the truth. With patience comes way more understanding, and allows things to happen the way they probably should. I think it's important with anything that things flow naturally, especially in relationships. When things flow naturally it gives you a chance to find the kinks and potentially iron them out. If you've even noticed in your own life, when you force something, it just doesn't work. It's not a natural progression. You get the best feelings and the most out of each other when things happen organically. To use a pretty loose analogy: At Starbucks you can have a Frapuccino made for you, it takes some time but you can have it made. In other locations, bottled Frapuccinos are sold. I've asked many people which Frapuccino they've enjoyed more, and I always get the response that they enjoyed...