Patterns

It if often said that we as humans are creatures of habit. We find comforts and get used to them. We are all notoriously guilty of the disease called complacency. I'm not sure if it pays to be complacent in any sense of the word. Nevertheless there are some things that seem to define us, some of which probably shouldn't. In therapy many times a therapist is looking for connections, correlations, and patterns. He or she is looking for causes and effects. Many times they may ask you to look within yourself and see what you find.

Today I talk about patterns; negative ones. Since I don't know you all I'd have to relate it to myself somewhat. Lately I've been wondering if there are things I should change about who I look to date. I've actually been content with everything in my life but for the past few years I've found that the people i grow the closest to seem to have problems i much rather not have to share in. Some of these problems range from drug addictions to feeling suicidal. Over the past four years or so now that I think of it those were the people I emotionally felt the most for. This revelation has puzzled me. It got me to wondering if I enjoy helping people to the point that I'd disregard a previous condition...maybe. In my own mind my ideal woman was confident and assertive, she loved people and herself. In retrospect looking back some of my choices in partners were quite the contrary.

Maybe I've been making errors for years, how do you stop such a cycle? I'm not sure if I know the answer. Do you see patterns in your partners of failed relationships? For instance if you find yourself always drawn to a more rebellious persona, but it never works out should you try something different? I'd think so, maybe that's the remedy to my own shortcomings. Maybe I should try something different.... but what would be different that I'd be into? I guess you'd have to take a basketball player's philosophy and "let the game come to you," you can't force anything.

This was just my own introspective look, and this is what I've found out, when you look at your own patterns in your partners, what things correlate...are they good things? Just something to ponder y'all....