Me? Married?


If you're not aware, I'm a 23 year old male. There's a lot of things I would love to accomplish at this age and I'm working on some of them. I'm a recent college graduate so I'm learning on the job so to speak as I acclimate myself into the work force a bit. In the midst of all this you also learn about yourself. I find myself in deep thought at work when I have free time. I find myself thinking about the future. 23 is a funny age, I'm still getting many things situated and for some reason or another I feel like that should include my love life. It's been a long time since I ever made me being in a relationship a priority. I don't really think it should be one. I simply think you should want one and in the same breath be ready for what it brings. I reached a point where I've done so many things I've wanted to and now I can really give of myself to someone else.

The thoughts that actually preceded my thoughts of relationship were really of marriage. Believe it or not I think about marriage a lot. I'm someone that actually wants to be married and raise a child (maybe two) with someone. I've had an eclectic upbringing and I've seen many marriages work, and some not so much. My own parents divorced when I was 7. In the near future following that my father was no longer around. As much as my parent's marriage was quite tumultuous it never stopped me from wanting a marriage of my own. In my mind I always wanted to love a woman and have a marriage that worked. I believe in it, hard to explain why I always have.

Is it natural for a guy to think about these things at my age? Maybe I guess. The funny thing is that I  give thought to the actual wedding itself, I think about bachelor parties and the whole nine. Along with those things I also give thought to what kind of man I'm becoming. I want to be a great guy, that's my goal daily. I try to embody qualities that I think would always keep me eligible for someone. I try to remain a loyal person with integrity. I take pride in being responsible and making things happen. I do these things for myself and to insure some stability in my future. To be respected is everything to me.

I also give thought to the kind of husband I want to be. I've come a long way in being more understanding and sensitive to women and their ups and downs. I guess it comes with maturity and other ways that life seems to humble you. The mere fact that I'm able to type these thoughts out is a testament to my growth. Sharing feelings isn't always the easiest thing to do, I'm sure many of my readers know this.

This post isn't a PSA for wifey lol not in the least. This is really written  to be introspective. It's written for you to look into yourself and see what you are doing in your everyday life to ensure your own future. Are you doing what you need to in order to get what you want. I'd like a fine woman one day so naturally I got to be a fine man. I'm not saying the next woman I see has to be the wife, all I am saying is that the kind of mate I'd be would be a much better version than my past self. Knowing your shortcomings and and changing them is imperative to growth. Maybe I'm just glad to reach this level of comfort; it's good.

Do you all give marriage thought in detail? Let me know

Be good.

Comments

  1. AnonymousMarch 13, 2012 at 8:33 PM

    It is truly about time that we have a young man in 2012 talking about positive, serious relationships AND a lasting marriage. Honestly Lil, you are a true breath of fresh air. Men don't realize that the reason there are so many women chosing to be married to their careers, is because there aren't enough men saying the things that you're saying. Monogamy seems to be as impossible as pigs flying. Def passing this one down the line.

    ReplyDelete
  2. CarrymelMarch 14, 2012 at 11:55 PM

    Wow, Kahlil - I never thought I'd hear you talk about marraige (lol) but now that you mention it. . .we are around that age, right? Reading this post really made me happy because it shows that although you're a young man, your head is in the right place. You're actually giving thought to the kind of husband you want to be - that's awesome! More guys your age need to do this.

    I do think about the kind of wife and mother I want to be, which is CRAZY because Lord knows I still have a lot of growing to do and I don't know if I'll ever think I'm ready, even when I am lol. I didn't think I was ready to live on my own or leave college, yet here I am. When the time comes, I think you'll be ready too.

    http://carrymel.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Why Does The "WYD Guy" Exist and How Do We Get Rid of Him?

Image
It baffles me that in my late 20's I still hear stories about guys who lack conversational skills. I've alluded to this in past pieces, one of which you can check out here . That piece was written over 3 years ago. Today this type of guy is labeled as the "wyd guy." He's the dude that texts "wyd" ad nauseam throughout a given day.  Over the past few months, I've noticed that women continue to deal with this kind of person. I was curious to know what some experiences were like for you ladies. I reached out to a few good women to pick their brain. Hopefully you all share the goods. Let's get into it. Have you seen a decline in male conversational skills through the years? Tass :  First question. I haven't seen any studies suggesting a decline in the conversational skills of men. What I personally see is the continuation of low expectations and accountability for men unable to have strong communication skills outside of business/sport
Read more

Maybe Men Are Trash

Image
Admittedly, in younger years I was one of those "not all men" type of men.  Please bare with me as I feel the collective eye rolls of any woman reading this. But in recent times I'm noticing that what I was doing in those former moments was not taking myself out of the equation. At the time I thought that I was, but I really wasn't. In recent years, through my dating journeys and speaking with different women, I realize that there are just way too many horror stories about men out there. In the past I've touched on subjects like first date conversations , or the corniness of leaking nudes , or guys being selfish in bed , but the issues I continue to hear far surpass even any of those things. I mean I've heard stories of men lacking taking initiative or just not possessing common courtesy. Hell, men paying on dates still rile up anyone's timeline. I began to think that there are way too many egregious transgressions we commit as men to disagree with what th
Read more

Maybe A Man Should Love A Woman More Than She Loves Him?

Image
Courtesy: Everything Girls Love It's been 6 years since The Best Man Holiday released.  After going out to catch that movie, a conversation ensued where I heard the phrase that a man should love a woman more than she loves him. Naturally, I wrote about it. You can read the piece here.  At the time I didn't agree with the phrase and I saw it more at a surface level. But with time, experience and growth, I now view the phrase differently. Initially I felt like people should go into relationships as equals in pretty much every sense. But as of late, I've been thinking about what kind of man I'd want a future child of mine to date, or my niece, or any other lady family member for that matter. What began to occur was that I started thinking about what it means to date deliberately. What is trying to be accomplished? I realized that no matter what, I'm trying to convey that the said person is my clear choice. The whole idea of a man "loving" a
Read more