Me? Married?


If you're not aware, I'm a 23 year old male. There's a lot of things I would love to accomplish at this age and I'm working on some of them. I'm a recent college graduate so I'm learning on the job so to speak as I acclimate myself into the work force a bit. In the midst of all this you also learn about yourself. I find myself in deep thought at work when I have free time. I find myself thinking about the future. 23 is a funny age, I'm still getting many things situated and for some reason or another I feel like that should include my love life. It's been a long time since I ever made me being in a relationship a priority. I don't really think it should be one. I simply think you should want one and in the same breath be ready for what it brings. I reached a point where I've done so many things I've wanted to and now I can really give of myself to someone else.

The thoughts that actually preceded my thoughts of relationship were really of marriage. Believe it or not I think about marriage a lot. I'm someone that actually wants to be married and raise a child (maybe two) with someone. I've had an eclectic upbringing and I've seen many marriages work, and some not so much. My own parents divorced when I was 7. In the near future following that my father was no longer around. As much as my parent's marriage was quite tumultuous it never stopped me from wanting a marriage of my own. In my mind I always wanted to love a woman and have a marriage that worked. I believe in it, hard to explain why I always have.

Is it natural for a guy to think about these things at my age? Maybe I guess. The funny thing is that I  give thought to the actual wedding itself, I think about bachelor parties and the whole nine. Along with those things I also give thought to what kind of man I'm becoming. I want to be a great guy, that's my goal daily. I try to embody qualities that I think would always keep me eligible for someone. I try to remain a loyal person with integrity. I take pride in being responsible and making things happen. I do these things for myself and to insure some stability in my future. To be respected is everything to me.

I also give thought to the kind of husband I want to be. I've come a long way in being more understanding and sensitive to women and their ups and downs. I guess it comes with maturity and other ways that life seems to humble you. The mere fact that I'm able to type these thoughts out is a testament to my growth. Sharing feelings isn't always the easiest thing to do, I'm sure many of my readers know this.

This post isn't a PSA for wifey lol not in the least. This is really written  to be introspective. It's written for you to look into yourself and see what you are doing in your everyday life to ensure your own future. Are you doing what you need to in order to get what you want. I'd like a fine woman one day so naturally I got to be a fine man. I'm not saying the next woman I see has to be the wife, all I am saying is that the kind of mate I'd be would be a much better version than my past self. Knowing your shortcomings and and changing them is imperative to growth. Maybe I'm just glad to reach this level of comfort; it's good.

Do you all give marriage thought in detail? Let me know

Be good.

Comments

  1. AnonymousMarch 13, 2012 at 8:33 PM

    It is truly about time that we have a young man in 2012 talking about positive, serious relationships AND a lasting marriage. Honestly Lil, you are a true breath of fresh air. Men don't realize that the reason there are so many women chosing to be married to their careers, is because there aren't enough men saying the things that you're saying. Monogamy seems to be as impossible as pigs flying. Def passing this one down the line.

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  2. CarrymelMarch 14, 2012 at 11:55 PM

    Wow, Kahlil - I never thought I'd hear you talk about marraige (lol) but now that you mention it. . .we are around that age, right? Reading this post really made me happy because it shows that although you're a young man, your head is in the right place. You're actually giving thought to the kind of husband you want to be - that's awesome! More guys your age need to do this.

    I do think about the kind of wife and mother I want to be, which is CRAZY because Lord knows I still have a lot of growing to do and I don't know if I'll ever think I'm ready, even when I am lol. I didn't think I was ready to live on my own or leave college, yet here I am. When the time comes, I think you'll be ready too.

    http://carrymel.blogspot.com

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