In A Pickle

Out with some friends the other day I was presented with some rather thought provoking issues. Issues that I never really thought about til the time of this conversation. I consider pretty much all the fellas I associate myself with as stand up guys. We're not ever looking to be blatantly hurtful and know both sides this whole thing. We know what it is to have been naive and taken advantage of, and we've seen others who have been naive as well. Some you're able to save and some just have to learn. But with that being said we're all very cognizant of another person's feelings while making different decisions relationship wise.

An interesting issue arose in conversation in which we spoke about basically our thought patterns. There's no doubt men think in a way shorter term relationship wise than women. We're not usually getting to know women thinking "hey man she might be the one." We really do just go with the flow for the most part. Women on the other hand would usually have the thought process of not investing time in anything that they didn't see promise in. That's quite fine on both ends to me, and both are legit stances. Now when a guy finds himself in a position in which he isn't feeling the same way as his woman is I say that you're in a pickle. You are a rock in a hard place and you're trying to figure out your whole circumstance.

How do you articulate that we're just not on the same page? Well I think first off we simply don't have the same way of thinking simply because of how we've been socialized gender wise. Think of it, women are just more likely to be more organized or make plans.They're usually more in tune with their emotions, and have this grand idea of what they want from an early age. Women are beat in the head to not be promiscuous, find a good man and stick with it. With that being said, many of them are not comfortable just messing around. They want to land a good man and call it a day. Do we men feel that pressure from women... of course.

Men aren't brought up with that same urgency. We're told we have time, play the field, enjoy being single blah blah blah. All this means to my ladies is to not be mad at us. We're not always going to be thinking as far ahead as you are. It's not our fault it's years and years of being raised. As men we have to understand where their minds are at. Might annoy us to a degree, but that woman is doing what she is thinking she "has" to do. She wants to land a legitimate long term relationship. She has some plan of having kids before 30 and having a career by 25 meaning by at least 27 she probably wants to be married. Not for nothing 27 and getting married sounds okay to me, I wouldn't mind that but I bet you these women think about that way more than men do. We both could be understanding to each others experiences and not be offended by those differences.


Be Good



Comments

  1. CarrymelSeptember 22, 2011 at 6:01 PM

    I think that with relationships you need to be open and communicate what you both want out of it as soon as things get serious. Like you said, a lot of the time men and women are on completely different pages and someone ends up getting hurt because they didn't say how they felt in the first place.

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  2. AmberOctober 29, 2011 at 11:16 PM

    Whenever it comes to the idea of men and women not being on the same page, I think that everything really does go back to how someone is socialized. Although most women have a plan mapped out of their life and where they want to be or where they see themselves, this is not always true, and the same goes for men. Whenever anyone enters into a relationship the best thing to do is to find out what the other is looking for, if you know its not for you leave it alone, there's no use in staying in a relationship where both are looking for opposite things.

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