Foot In Your Mouth?


If there's one flaw about me it's that as many thing as I can say right, I can say something wrong or taken wrong to totally negate it. Sometimes i have a bad way of not thinking an idea out totally, or I may misinterpret something and give the wrong response to someone. I was recently asked by someone I used to see if we could start off fresh with a clean slate. Initially I was puzzled and simply thought "What are you talking about?" As far as I was concerned I didn't have any problems with this woman and I basically thought the question didn't have much poignancy simply because of how I saw things. Her and I have been amicable and speak regularly enough that I couldn't understand the idea of starting with a clean slate.

Needless to say my response didn't go over well and I think it came off more insensitive than anything else. I didn't have much time to think about it at the time being that I only had about 2 hours to sleep and then get up. But throughout my work day I thought to myself and I realized one thing; I didn't take her feelings into account. What I mean is that maybe she felt hearing that we would start with a clean slate really would put her mind at ease about some things. In the very least this was important to her and I just didn't see it from that perspective initially.

I take much pride in being a good man. I try everyday to be a great guy and this simple situation opened my eyes. It was a humbling experience in which I had to change what came naturally. It allowed me to realize that you can't always just think from your perspective. When people feel for you in some way you have to take into account how they internalize things as well. As much as I may have thought things were fine, those sentiments may still not have been shared. I'm glad that I found this out about myself and I have a better understanding of putting other people's feelings first. This issue spoke more to me throughout the day beyond just this single issue of having a clean slate with someone. It showed me that I need to think things through a little more with people and everything may not be as black and white to everyone else as it is with me. I apologized and we moved forward. I'd hope her mind is at ease but as for me I think I became a hell of a lot more understanding.

I challenge you all to not hesitate to humble yourselves. I didn't understand my situation til hours later but when I thought I had a better grasp of what was asked of me I apologized and made sure she knew we weren't on the same page of thinking. In order to grow we have to have some moments like this where you realize new things about yourself be it good or bad. This was another situation I've gone through on my way to still being a good man.

Humble yourselves when you realize you may have been wrong, you all be well.

Comments

  1. KimJuly 6, 2011 at 8:10 PM

    It doesn't matter when you learned the lesson, it matters that you learned it. This is a very wise and useful lesson that you should carry with you forever.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousJuly 8, 2011 at 1:48 PM

    I once asked a male friend of mine the same thing and he gave me the same response. I don't think he understood what I meant.Our friendship wasn't solid and i felt that because of lack of communication, we would not be able to withstand. I was right and his ignorance led us to part. It is all for the best. Thank you Dr. Lil for understanding, because some times all we (women and men) need is a piece of mind and the ability to start over and solidify some things! As always...great job!

    ReplyDelete

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