Does The Thought Count?
There's always much being said as to what is considered cheating. The topic itself gets people to really start nitpicking. There seems to be so many technicalities into what is considered cheating. I think men make things quite simple. Many of our ideas of cheating stem from anything done that is more of a physical nature. Women tend to look at it from a wider spectrum. Some actually would prefer you physically cheat rather than actually have feelings for someone. I can definitely understand that logic. But just the thought that everyone can have so many definitions of such a thing is interesting to me. You're always wondering what boundaries not to cross and everyone has their own definitions of cheating. This is when candid conversation comes in and when it can be most helpful.
Today I present a unique scenario to you. This goes for both men and women and I would love your own candid feedback. If you happen to be thinking about someone else during sex with your significant other, is that cheating in your part? Or if your significant other told you they were thinking of someone else during sex, would you consider them cheating? First off I know that's a thought that would make anyone cringe. There are no winners, women who are usually a little more self conscious would feel horrible after hearing that. We prideful men couldn't come to grips that they were not being pictured putting in all this work. It's simply an ugly situation. I personally never had this problem, I'm usually focused at the task at hand lol but I know some who have. I can't totally put a finger on the causes of this but I can try and you all tell me what you think...sounds good?
Reasons For These Thoughts
Emotional disconnect with partner
Sex not up to par
Previously cheating
Those are just a few thoughts off the top. My friend Tameika suggested this topic and it's definitely relevant. In my opinion I don't know if I would consider it cheating, but I don't care it would still bother me. I think its a serious enough issue in which you need to slow down talk and evaluate things. Sometimes there is disconnect, someone needs to be heard. This isn't the end of the world, remember maybe these are nothing more than thoughts. But take note of this and don't take it lightly, hear each other out. The truth hurts, but being deceived may arguably hurt more.
How do you all feel? Til next time...
i will be stopping back for the comments on this...
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion it isn't cheating but it is a red flag. Thinking of someone else during sex with your partner can come from many different reasons but I'll discuss two. Since you suggested that people may see it as cheating, it could be that the person has lustful desires for someone else and would rather be with that person than with their partner. Like I said for me that's not cheating but it can lead to it. If that's what's happening there's a major problem within the relationship that the couple needs to figure out. Communication is key and that doesn't mean that the person has to reveal to their partner their thoughts while having sex with them but they should discuss any problems that is leading them to have those thoughts. Another reason could be that there is a lack of sexual desire for their partner. Sex is emotional for men and women because pleasure is an emotional feeling. To be sexually aroused during sex the desire has to be there and if the person doesn't have a desire for their partner there will be less satisfaction. In this case, having thoughts of someone else while having sex can be purely for the sake of sexual pleasure. Again to me it's not cheating but if that person wants to continue a sexual relationship with their partner then they should discuss ways to make it better. It's nothing to be upset or insecure about. Again it goes back to communication and being able to compromise to make the relationship work.
ReplyDeleteBefore I would ask myself if they were cheating on me, I would asking myself if I were cheating on them. So, after thinking about it & putting myself in that senario; If I were having sex with my significant other, & I thought about another person [ of them being another person], yes, I would say I cheated on them. Because I would be hurt to know that they imagined me to be someone else while we were making love, ya know? ( I'm following you, you should follow back!)
ReplyDeleteUhm...yea. This one is a tough one. To me the thought does count and I think on the person's part, it's something that they really need to look into and figure out. Because a lot of things lie within our subconscious...it's important that we identify and put them to rest before they surface and ruin our lives.....
ReplyDelete