Compromising Positions


Some of the most interesting relationships to me are those that feature many mutual friends. They can be some of the most fun relationships being that there's a level of comfort in each other and who the other is hanging out with. You're probably able to go many places together, no one has to feel awkward or left out. You have mutual confidants if some issues arise; there's many pluses to this.

I myself have been in relationships in which I and the person I was seeing had mutual friends, and at the time it doesn't seem like anything much. But an interesting thing happens in the event that you all break up. Not so much the break up, but the nature of that break up and if any judgments are passed. If we get into issues of abuse or infidelity and deception then you would think some mutual friends would feel compelled to choose a side. It's a pretty toxic situation and a situation i call a grown situation. What I mean is that this will be a learning experience for all involved, and in this predicament everyone involved has a different role.

The Hurt:

Has to understand that her/his mutual friends won't necessarily want to get involved in any information sharing.

He/she also has to understand that their ex may remain friends with the mutual, and that's perfectly fine.

The Wrong (Person in the wrong) :

Can't expect for any sides to be taken

Must accept responsibility for whatever damaged

Must be humble and apologetic

Mutual Friends:

Should not be forced to choose a side

They reserve the right to be objective

They are not to be blamed for anything (unless they were involved primarily)



I have been in situations where I have been upset with someone and things broke off, and I had to accept that this person didn't do anything to anyone else. If I'm that angry about it that's fine, but everyone else already feels awkward and I know they'd hate to lose a friend. So you have to absolutely take those things in stride and be mature about it all. To eventually be amicable again would be a real sign of maturation and i think your friends would definitely appreciate it.

How do y'all feel?

Comments

  1. CarrymelJuly 11, 2011 at 10:33 AM

    This is an interesting post. . .I think the relationship I'm in right now is one where we both have mutual friends and it's prob the only relo I've had like that. I honestly agree with these tips, however I feel like a lot of our friends would choose a side. While we have mutual friends, we are definitely each closer to some than we are to others.

    ReplyDelete
  2. SheaJuly 13, 2011 at 2:42 PM

    I am newly divorced, a little over a year. My ex and I had several mutual friends. He wronged me, and only a few of our friends knew about the issue. I have noticed almost all of our friends have kinda sided with me for whatever reason or another. I didn't really take notice at first but he has some issues and I guess I wasn't the only person that noticed. My situation was pretty bad but I never involved anyone, I knew I wouldn't want to be put in that situation as a friend.

    ReplyDelete
  3. NequiaJuly 14, 2011 at 5:03 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  4. NequiaJuly 14, 2011 at 5:05 PM

    Thanks for the comment on my blog! Yours is pretty awesome, with all the relationship advice & stuff! :)
    & Thanks for the follow!
    Hope to hear from you more!
    Nequia x

    ReplyDelete
  5. London Factory FashionJuly 15, 2011 at 11:24 AM

    really like your blog, be sure to check out mine i think youd really like it.
    londonfactoryfashion.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete

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