Blowing The Dust Off (Mini Me Part 2)

Today I'm simply throwing it back, and taking you people to a place that's not usually visited; not for any specific reason just coincidence. In my last post I spoke of when I would want to have a kid and the type of woman I'd want the mother of my child to be. I got pretty detailed about the characteristics, and tonight's post may give you some insight as to why. A lot of how I operate everyday, for a long time has been out of my want to do the right things, but also to be able to be opposite many of my father's negatives. Now is when you want to stay tuned...

I don't speak much about my personal life outside of relationships much. My mentality has always been that someone else has a crazier story or worse story and I never wanted to come off ass "hey guys, feel sorry for me!" I'll never be that guy. But after today's little history lesson you all will learn why I am the way I am and why I'm so adamant about creating the right environment for my own kid.

Today I talk about my own pops. On August 3rd it will mark nine years since his death (it's okay we weren't too close". We weren't too close simply because he wasn't around for long. My father was visibly present in my life til I say i was about 7 years old. My parents split when I was 6 and basically for unknown reasons my father stopped picking me up for visitation when I was 7. The reason for my parent's divorce was pretty much a culmination of verbal abuse towards the end. My mother had pretty much enough once my father had made a threat on her life while i was away on vacation. My father was "ignorant" as my mother would so eloquently exclaim as I was a kid lol. My vocabulary would always grow during these times. I saw my mother hurt and I always internalized them as husband and wife. In my home I didn't see a happy marriage, and in my own head I thought that's how it was supposed to be. My passion for wanting a good marriage stems from not seeing it first hand. I'd plead for my parents to kiss sometimes just to see if they still liked each other; I was that guy.

For whatever my father dropped the ball and needless to say I'd say he missed out. When I was about 12 he made an attempt to get back in my life and i think I was too young to appreciate the gesture and never really welcomed it with open arms. As I'm older now I think I would've been more receptive, but that's how the cookie crumbles. I feel that a reason I wasn't as receptive to my father at 12 was simply because I didn't feel like I missed out on much. I'm one of the lucky ones who had family that picked up the slack. I had a great host of uncles, cousins, and a brother who made me a priority. Mind you now that I'm older I see they could've been doing so many other things, but they wanted to kick it with me (for the most part lol).

Gestures like what I just mentioned is what makes being a good father paramount for me. What is a good father to me?

A good father is

Supportive

A listener

Responsible

Fun

A homie

Someone who makes his household his first priority

Now we can all fill in more blanks and I urge you to, but these are all thing I would love to exemplify when time comes. Now my father just as anyone else wasn't all bad. Looking back, he was a real charming dude, funny and people did love him. I find myself a very charming person and a big people person as well. I'm sure I can attribute some of that to him. I'll never know real answers to a lot of things about my father, and I'm quite fine with that. But from what I know, I try to be a better version of what I knew a father to be and I have great examples in a brother, cousins and uncles. It's something I'll take pride in and will undoubtedly have fun doing...I'm a fun guy; I got to have my fun.

Comments

  1. LovelyladyjbJuly 16, 2011 at 3:05 PM

    Thanks for commenting and following!

    I think what you have said about about being a good father is right. I am glad that you had such supportive family to "pick up the slack." From what I read, I think you're def on the right track and will be great when the time comes! :)

    until the next time..

    -jena

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousJuly 16, 2011 at 9:16 PM

    I can truly relate to you on certain aspects of your childhood. Although my father has never left (Thank God) and he has calmed down with the verbal threats and physical abuse, I still wish I were close like I was once before.

    Great entry and hope to come read some more!

    ReplyDelete
  3. SamJuly 17, 2011 at 6:35 PM

    My dad wasn't in my life until I was 16 & now that he is we don't have the greatest of a relationship. I can kind of relate to this. Who I consider to be my parents aren't my biological parent's. I don't even tell people that half the time. It doesn't matter to me. My parent's are who support me & love me for who I am.
    Great post.

    ReplyDelete

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