Damn, He Got A Point

                                   Courtesy: Oprah Magazine About 6 years ago I wrote a piece on SBM called  " How Would You React to Having A Gay Child? " It was written within the context of thinking what if parenting is nothing like what I expect it to be? I wanted to challenge myself to think about who I was at my core; was my love conditional? What I did to gain some clarity was think about my father growing up. I only lived with him for about 7 years and even with as flawed as he was, I thought he was  that dude. At that moment, I realized that was all that mattered. My kid will place me on a pedestal by default. I've got to love them the same way. This week Dwyane Wade's family has been at the forefront of the news because his 12 year old daughter Zaya decided that she would like to now be referred to as a girl. Sexual orientation conversations are some of the most p...

Courtesy: Everything Girls Love It's been 6 years since The Best Man Holiday released.  After going out to catch that movie, a conversation ensued where I heard the phrase that a man should love a woman more than she loves him. Naturally, I wrote about it. You can read the piece here.  At the time I didn't agree with the phrase and I saw it more at a surface level. But with time, experience and growth, I now view the phrase differently. Initially I felt like people should go into relationships as equals in pretty much every sense. But as of late, I've been thinking about what kind of man I'd want a future child of mine to date, or my niece, or any other lady family member for that matter. What began to occur was that I started thinking about what it means to date deliberately. What is trying to be accomplished? I realized that no matter what, I'm trying to convey that the said person is my clear choice. The whole idea of a man "loving" a ...

Courtesy: Kamdora This past weekend I came across a Youtube show called Pass The Bluntness . It's a lighthearted interview show that asks people to speak on millennial type taboo subjects. The latest episode is centered around sex after a first dat e. Of course there's a litany of ideas on it and I thought the show covered it all rather well. One subject that I think isn't spoken on enough is sexual health.  During this episode the question was asked as to if there is a conversation with a date as to their sexual health status. The participants were very honest about whether or not they have those conversations and why it can be difficult at times. One gentleman in particular said that he tries to go off of a woman's "vibe" more than anything. He felt he needed to protect himself more with someone who he deemed as being more promiscuous than "normal." I applaud that transparency. It's understood in matters regarding sex that m...

Courtesy: Single Black Male Listening to podcasts is something I have grown to enjoy doing. I know that I'm not the only one. My tastes vary from dating and sex podcasts to  politics and sports. One of my favorite shows to check out sometimes is called Room For Relations . In the latest episode called "Are You Married or Just Dating?" the gang discusses when the right time is to begin handling duties that are associated with marriage. Among some of the tasks or behaviors mentioned were things like making a plate for your partner, cooking for your partner, washing the dishes, taking the garbage out and even taking their car for oil changes. The discussion was surprisingly eye opening for me, because these are tasks I haven't given much thought to in regards to when the right time was to carry them out. It pays to remember that you have to take yourself out of your own thought pattern to try and understand these things. So I did, and it's obvious that it's...

      Courtesy: Independent I love hip hop and I definitely have an appreciation especially for debut albums. The Game's debut album "The Documentary" is one of my favorite debut albums of any artist. I happen to think the majority of his discography is pretty solid. But I have always been conflicted with The Game as a person and his view of women. I really believe that he doesn't respect women and sees them as completely subservient to him. I want to share some thoughts today about my issues with The Game's mentality and how it is indicative to a problem among Black men. Last week I came across several tweets that reported this: The Game's manager implies any woman including Cyn Santana or Kim Kardashian who deny whatever The Game is rapping about, he will release tapes to prove the accuracy of the lyrics pic.twitter.com/Pmhxl60amz — 24/7 HipHop News (@BenjaminEnfield) February 2, 2019 Apparently on The Game's forthcoming ninth album, the...

      Courtesy: instagram,com/kendrick38 With the success of last year's inaugural Teen Vogue Summit , it returned for two iterations in 2018. The most recent one took place on on November 30th through December 1st. Surely, many thoughtful discussions took place and many thoughts were shared. Those in attendance I can almost be sure left feeling more enriched than when they first walked in. With all of this withstanding, I did come across the below tweet and it most definitely piqued my interest. Insecure’s Kendrick Sampson talks about how a man’s “game” is the same as coercion. #TeenVogueSummit pic.twitter.com/91DwikwQkc — Lindsay Weinberg (@WeinbergLindsay) December 1, 2018 Kendrick Sampson , who plays Nathan on HBO's Insecure believes that "game" is defined as getting a woman to do something that she does not want to do. As I watched the clip, I thought it came off as him having an epiphany of sorts; he might agree. I also thought that I have n...

Courtesy:raprehab.com I like to think that I have an affinity for finding the pulse of what folks are  talking about. A huge catalyst to this is Twitter. A few days ago I came across this tweet that made me think: men do this weird thing where they’re simultaneously attracted to how sexually free you are but also shame you for it — saint swazi (@swazikills) December 3, 2018 I have never agreed with trying to change who a person is. The mere thought of that is pretty exhausting. We are in an age now where people of all walks are more confident in living exactly how they want to. This includes women and their right and desire to define themselves in our society. Gone are the days where women choose to remain silent. Women are living with more conviction than ever. In this viral society, our eyes are captivated by dope pictures and insightful, truthful quotes that cause us to "like" them. A lot of what us men double tap on are provocative pictures, or messaging th...

I know many of us are still high off of Wakanda Carnival. We've been lucky to have not only one, but two big premiers this month. Of course Black Panther was the box office juggernaut we all hoped that it would be. But along with the finest chocolate, we were also gifted with a new Chris Rock stand up on Valentine's Day. For anyone who has followed my writing through the years, you know that I love stand up comedy. Stand ups make me laugh, but more importantly they make me think. I've alluded to Chris Rock many times prior in my writings. One of my favorite references can be read here . I found Chris Rock's Tamborine to be his most vulnerable offering. Sure it's funny. It's very funny. In my opinion, I think Never Scared was his best work. But I genuinely had a good time watching Tamborine . This stand up gave us much of what we love about Chris. His perspectives on issues and how he dissects them are elements of his act that we feel he excels at...

Outkast is my favorite rap group.  They have an album cut on Stankonia called "I'll Call Before I Come." The lyrics go as  as such - I'll call before I come, I won't just pop over, out the blue I hope that you do too, I'll call before I come, I won't just pop up over out the blue, no after you.  The hook hints at sexual reciprocity and orgasms for the parties involved. The song also alludes to letting the woman know that when dude is about to climax, he'll let her know. In this past Sunday's episode of Insecure we witnessed a scenario that is familiar to us all. Issa and Daniel got hot and heavy in the living room. Issa, who is fresh off of a fellatio workshop decides she's feeling froggy and decides to leap. She surprises Daniel by going down on him. Of course, caught off guard, dude is excited and is enjoying the hell out of the head that he's getting. When it gets too good, he tells Issa that he was about to climax...and the...

LOVE! We can blab a whole bunch on this subject can't we? It really doesn't stop. And that's alright because love is all good. The older I get the more I see it manifested and interpreted differently by everyone. Over the weekend a friend of mine asked in our group chat if attaining a storybook sort of love was possible. Let's call it almost like a Utopian sort of thing. There were a myriad of responses. What was obvious and what I said was that love means something different to all of us. What made me love a certain woman might not mean anything to someone else, but for me it was everything. I didn't believe there was any Utopian type love. I think that initial falling in love process is extremely Utopian, damn near euphoric. But love on it's own seems so uncompromising. It lasts long, it's strong; it's like the most honest promise you make to someone else. For that reason is why you have to be frugal with whom you allow yourself to have those ...

It's my goal and my passion as a writer to push envelopes and and take different perspectives on everyday type issues. Over the past few days I have been toying with the subject of infidelity. It's a very common subject amongst us all. Some of us have cheated or some of us have been cheated on, or maybe you're Neapolitan and you've experienced both.  The bottom line is that this subject has a very strong relevance. I would argue that it is a real prospect and may stay subconsciously in people's minds more often than not. Tonight I want to be a bit radical and let this preface serve as a disclaimer. I have never read or written about the other side of cheating. I do not seek to glorify it in no way. You live how you see fit but I do want to shed some light on why I think it does happen in some cases. Infidelity is a reality obviously. To be frank, if people didn't enjoy it to some degree it wouldn't be as prevalent as it is. I personally haven't che...

I can assure you that this is not a post about wrestling, but this photo evokes a feeling that I want this post to have. This photo is a promotional picture of "Triple H" in his early career. The character he portrayed was that of a well off man who had all the world's amenities at his beckon call. They nicknamed him the blueblood snob and people hated him because of the way he looked down on others. What relevance does this have to today's post? Well I have a need to think that there is a certain population of women that stick their nose up at another population of women. I have divided these groups of women between celibate women and non celibate women. Now a lot of my commentary may seem skewed a bit toward non celibate women but as I elaborate you will begin to see why. Many times I have thoughts that I'd like to write out but I can't find the words to elaborate on them. usually an event or conversation happens and in that moment I have all the words ...

  It's been a while but that's hardly ever a bad thing. It is said that you should speak only to improve the silence, I can assure that's what the deal is for today. Many times I know I don't state popular opinion and that's okay. this is my art and i depict it how I see fit. I have no problem speaking on issues that deal with men needing to be more responsible  in all facets. If any fellas do read my work they probably say in their head "Yo Lil' shut the fuck up man!" That's fine and dandy, that only means there's integrity to what I'm saying. For the guys that do read the blog you'd be glad to know that today's post has not one thing to do with y'all. I'm talking to the ladies today and I have some thoughts to get off my chest. I say this all with love so don't take nothing personal. I'm going to need young women to get real honest with themselves from here on out. I'm not in no way trying to ...

... or so it sometimes seems. It's Friday night and I just finished having a good conversation with one of my cousins. The nature of the conversation is a pretty common one I think many men can relate to. This is the case of the newly single woman. I can't speak for anyone else but myself and I know I've faced this scenario even from my high school years. I will warn you all from now that I'm not sure if I have answers to this issue. Just bare with me and hear me out ta bien (okay)? I think men sometimes go through little phases in which they have interest in a certain woman but that woman is in a relationship. What would make matters worse is God forbid she was in a relationship and happy! When you put those two things together you take the wind out of a brotha's sails. A guy goes from wanting the girl to wanting her but feeling a little bit sour about wanting her. For all intensive purposes there's really nothing you can do. A wise man once told me a wom...

Almost gotcha there, this post is not about deadbeat dads. Those guys have gotten enough attention. Today's post is about something a bit different. I'm looking to delve into this topic of dating. A lot is made of what is proper dating etiquette. In an attempt to show everyone that chivalry is alive and well I implore you to open your mind up to this post and my next post on www.viralstatus.com . I'm an avid user and enthusiast of twitter. Pretty much daily I'm on that thing, it provides me with some insights and a whole hell of a lot of entertainment. This past week one of my homegirls sort of went on a semi rant. She stated something to the effect of a guy expecting to not pay on the first date. I found her statement intriguing. I asked her if it's something she has come across often and she said "Yes."  I then put on my "hmm" face and went and began to ask around. As it turns out, many women that I got responses from said they had run i...

Just about two months ago was my last post. I apologize for being so quiet it's been pretty hectic the past few weeks. I'm back now and trying to get back into the swing of things. I've been paying a lot of attention to myself and all these new things I'm noticing about myself emotionally as it pertains to women. Some of my fellas say I'm getting soft... I wouldn't go that far. I am however a little better at viewing things from other than my perspective. I'm hoping my writing reflects that in the future. This brings us to today where I want to touch on the issue of respect. There's a twist today though, it's not about I respect you or you respect me blah blah. This is more about how a woman can shoot herself in the foot. I'm sure we all have a good idea about the basis of respect. You have to give it to get it and what not, but do we remain cognizant of this daily? I find myself taken aback sometimes with responses I get from women about ce...

I would guess as a single male that this isn't the norm daily. By norm I mean finding your wife in lingerie as you come home from work. You see since I'm not married I can only fantasize about what my marriage would be like. Today's post is a follow up to yesterday's. Lately I've been thinking about my expectations of marriage. In my own stupid  little way it would be so cool to come home to my wife oiled up everyday like this lol. This however is unrealistic; I know this but we can all dream can't we? Have you ever gave thought to the kind of person you need in your life? What type of characteristics must one possess for you to say "this is someone I can settle with."? Today I figured I fill you in on some qualities I would look for...you ready? Humor - I have to laugh it's imperative to my life. We have to be able to have fun and act like total asses around each other.... I'm just jovial like that. Generous - I would need to be with...

If you're not aware, I'm a 23 year old male. There's a lot of things I would love to accomplish at this age and I'm working on some of them. I'm a recent college graduate so I'm learning on the job so to speak as I acclimate myself into the work force a bit. In the midst of all this you also learn about yourself. I find myself in deep thought at work when I have free time. I find myself thinking about the future. 23 is a funny age, I'm still getting many things situated and for some reason or another I feel like that should include my love life. It's been a long time since I ever made me being in a relationship a priority. I don't really think it should be one. I simply think you should want one and in the same breath be ready for what it brings. I reached a point where I've done so many things I've wanted to and now I can really give of myself to someone else. The thoughts that actually preceded my thoughts of relationship were really o...

I come today speaking on a common issue that men deal with. It's simple, I'm speaking of the woman men want to "know their place" and the women who don't want to play that part or don't know that a guy placed them in that role. OUCH! I know this is some crazy sort of topic. You are simply going to have to stomach my bluntness on this. To put thing simply a lot of guys have two types of women. They have women they don't mind dating and what not and then they have women who they really only want to have sex with. Truth is that in the latter case that's all they want to be to that woman too. Now is it ever that cut and dry? Nope. Deception runs rampant between men and women, we try to be as verbally pleasing as possible cushioning each others emotions for our own peace of mind. It pays to be clear on the kind of relationship you have with someone. The main reason why guys get upset with women who end up wanting more than what they want is because th...

You let your guard down, then POW!!! Not a nice ending right? It sure as hell isn't so today I hope to help you avoid this as much as possible. I want to talk about what I feel is trust. I had a great conversation with a friend a few weeks back where he felt as if you can never fully trust anyone. I had to disagree with him. I couldn't possibly not fully trust someone whom I think I would marry. And I thought that point was relevant enough. I simply told my boy that you have to be realistic. I truly feel that once you lose sense of what is reality you then leave yourself wide open for some sort of failure. I define trust as giving someone the opportunity to do right in whatever facet. I do not believe that trust should be synonymous with being naive. What the hell are you talking about Kahlil?! What I'm saying is that when I trust someone I don't negate the fact that they are human and that they can fuck up at any which moment. Trust is hoping you'd always use...