Damn, He Got A Point

Admittedly, in younger years I was one of those "not all men" type of men.  Please bare with me as I feel the collective eye rolls of any woman reading this. But in recent times I'm noticing that what I was doing in those former moments was not taking myself out of the equation. At the time I thought that I was, but I really wasn't. In recent years, through my dating journeys and speaking with different women, I realize that there are just way too many horror stories about men out there. In the past I've touched on subjects like first date conversations , or the corniness of leaking nudes , or guys being selfish in bed , but the issues I continue to hear far surpass even any of those things. I mean I've heard stories of men lacking taking initiative or just not possessing common courtesy. Hell, men paying on dates still rile up anyone's timeline. I began to think that there are way too many egregious transgressions we commit as men to disagree with what th...

Courtesy: VideoBlocks It might've taken a pandemic, but I think the world is leaning towards more organic communication again. The Coronavirus has inadvertently given us more time on our hands as we continue to practice social distancing. Contemporary dating culture is a topic that has come up with me in conversations that I've had during this social distancing era. Whether through text or virtual happy hours, there were a lot of parallels.  A lot of the conversation surrounded around the Hinge app and the lackluster crop of guys that women find on there. They negatively cited things like hood nicknames on there and the listed interests, namely, "you know the vibes." There was also the sentiment discussed of knowing where a woman stands and deciding to "waste" her time anyway. It dawned on me that there are just habits that guys have that I don't think they shake as they get older. Their idea towards dating and what it's supposed to mean does...

Courtesy: Everything Girls Love It's been 6 years since The Best Man Holiday released.  After going out to catch that movie, a conversation ensued where I heard the phrase that a man should love a woman more than she loves him. Naturally, I wrote about it. You can read the piece here.  At the time I didn't agree with the phrase and I saw it more at a surface level. But with time, experience and growth, I now view the phrase differently. Initially I felt like people should go into relationships as equals in pretty much every sense. But as of late, I've been thinking about what kind of man I'd want a future child of mine to date, or my niece, or any other lady family member for that matter. What began to occur was that I started thinking about what it means to date deliberately. What is trying to be accomplished? I realized that no matter what, I'm trying to convey that the said person is my clear choice. The whole idea of a man "loving" a ...

Courtesy: Single Black Male Listening to podcasts is something I have grown to enjoy doing. I know that I'm not the only one. My tastes vary from dating and sex podcasts to  politics and sports. One of my favorite shows to check out sometimes is called Room For Relations . In the latest episode called "Are You Married or Just Dating?" the gang discusses when the right time is to begin handling duties that are associated with marriage. Among some of the tasks or behaviors mentioned were things like making a plate for your partner, cooking for your partner, washing the dishes, taking the garbage out and even taking their car for oil changes. The discussion was surprisingly eye opening for me, because these are tasks I haven't given much thought to in regards to when the right time was to carry them out. It pays to remember that you have to take yourself out of your own thought pattern to try and understand these things. So I did, and it's obvious that it's...

      Courtesy: instagram,com/kendrick38 With the success of last year's inaugural Teen Vogue Summit , it returned for two iterations in 2018. The most recent one took place on on November 30th through December 1st. Surely, many thoughtful discussions took place and many thoughts were shared. Those in attendance I can almost be sure left feeling more enriched than when they first walked in. With all of this withstanding, I did come across the below tweet and it most definitely piqued my interest. Insecure’s Kendrick Sampson talks about how a man’s “game” is the same as coercion. #TeenVogueSummit pic.twitter.com/91DwikwQkc — Lindsay Weinberg (@WeinbergLindsay) December 1, 2018 Kendrick Sampson , who plays Nathan on HBO's Insecure believes that "game" is defined as getting a woman to do something that she does not want to do. As I watched the clip, I thought it came off as him having an epiphany of sorts; he might agree. I also thought that I have n...

Courtesy:raprehab.com I like to think that I have an affinity for finding the pulse of what folks are  talking about. A huge catalyst to this is Twitter. A few days ago I came across this tweet that made me think: men do this weird thing where they’re simultaneously attracted to how sexually free you are but also shame you for it — saint swazi (@swazikills) December 3, 2018 I have never agreed with trying to change who a person is. The mere thought of that is pretty exhausting. We are in an age now where people of all walks are more confident in living exactly how they want to. This includes women and their right and desire to define themselves in our society. Gone are the days where women choose to remain silent. Women are living with more conviction than ever. In this viral society, our eyes are captivated by dope pictures and insightful, truthful quotes that cause us to "like" them. A lot of what us men double tap on are provocative pictures, or messaging th...

It baffles me that in my late 20's I still hear stories about guys who lack conversational skills. I've alluded to this in past pieces, one of which you can check out here . That piece was written over 3 years ago. Today this type of guy is labeled as the "wyd guy." He's the dude that texts "wyd" ad nauseam throughout a given day.  Over the past few months, I've noticed that women continue to deal with this kind of person. I was curious to know what some experiences were like for you ladies. I reached out to a few good women to pick their brain. Hopefully you all share the goods. Let's get into it. Have you seen a decline in male conversational skills through the years? Tass :  First question. I haven't seen any studies suggesting a decline in the conversational skills of men. What I personally see is the continuation of low expectations and accountability for men unable to have strong communication skills outside of business/sport...

Outkast is my favorite rap group.  They have an album cut on Stankonia called "I'll Call Before I Come." The lyrics go as  as such - I'll call before I come, I won't just pop over, out the blue I hope that you do too, I'll call before I come, I won't just pop up over out the blue, no after you.  The hook hints at sexual reciprocity and orgasms for the parties involved. The song also alludes to letting the woman know that when dude is about to climax, he'll let her know. In this past Sunday's episode of Insecure we witnessed a scenario that is familiar to us all. Issa and Daniel got hot and heavy in the living room. Issa, who is fresh off of a fellatio workshop decides she's feeling froggy and decides to leap. She surprises Daniel by going down on him. Of course, caught off guard, dude is excited and is enjoying the hell out of the head that he's getting. When it gets too good, he tells Issa that he was about to climax...and the...