Damn, He Got A Point

I'm a very huge advocate of positive reinforcement and high self esteem. I am more than aware of the challenges that threaten both things, but challenges threaten everything in life. There's always a way around challenges, there's always a way to help a problem, but you have to want to seek it. They say "knock and the door shall be opened to you, seek and you shall find," well you have to knock first right? In this life we have to do what's right for us, in every respect. We have to be right with ourselves before we're right with anyone else. Truth be told if we are not right with ourselves we will NEVER be right with anyone else. It's time we become selfish, time we look out for our happiness and time we start being the people we deserve to be. We have to improve ourselves if we think we need improvement, none of us are perfect so why beat yourself up about it? No need to settle anymore, take control of what and who you want. To be selfish in the sens

What is fiending? I think it means different things to different people. Every person is different, that's something i came to learn the hard way. Like many of us when I was younger I thought you had to show a lot of interest in someone in order to keep and build their interest with you. So when I was in high school I was talking to a few different girls, and for the most part they expected me to call and talk to them every single night. No problem I had my prepaid nights free so I could talk, but there was one girl who presented a challenge. This girl threw me a curve ball, she said because I called her too much. I was shocked!! She said I looked like a fiend, she said "if you call me every day, what new things would there be to talk about?" I was obviously taken back, no woman had ever been so blunt with me. But I appreciated it so much, she single handedly changed my approach to women. I love getting to know people, and I surely didn't think I was fiending, but I

I think a lot of men under estimate a woman's intelligence. Maybe they do some dumb shit here and there but understand a woman has seen her share of stupidity as well from us men. It's up to you as a man to not have her be able to see the play you draw up. It is always emphasized that we all should strive to be different, and we as men should put that into practice with women. Unfortunately the days of "yo yo ma" are still with us simply because the "yo yo ma's" respond to it. These juvenile approaches will garner you juvenile women, and yes you may get her today, but guaranteed she will be a headache in the tomorrows to come. As a guy you have to really just calm down and play it cool and be smart about your movements. You can't be so blatant and obvious all the time. As you get older you have to garner finesse, even Jordan perfected that fade away, create another dimension to your game. Don't insult a woman's intelligence by coming at her j

People love to badger their ex's names. Granted many times things do end on bad terms, maybe they might have been the wrong person. I challenge you today, not to find "the one," or a soul mate but to find someone of substance. This is the deal, I don't expect people to be super serious at the age I'm at, but I think we all should have positive learning experiences. Choose to give someone who will help you grow priority over people who won't. People sometimes help you discover things about yourself that you didn't know existed. You can take positive things from a negative situation. Fifty says "The women in my life bring confusion to shit." A lot of men may feel the same, and it might be true but sometimes they want something more out of you, or they want you to learn something. Same goes for women, find someone that compliments you and gives you a different view on things. As time progresses, if you happen to grow apart you don't want your

I think it's safe to say we all appreciate honesty. I don't think we always like it. Honesty can be a hard thing sometimes. we worry of the results of our honesty. If nothing else it's sure to maintain a respect to some degree, no matter what the situation. It always takes a bigger person to be honest, it shows great integrity and respect for someone you care about. There are problems with being honest, and we are all victims of it at times. We love to hear what we like to hear as people, we love hearing the honesty of good things or things that favor us. But honesty can be a hurtful thing as well. To quote a rap song "harsh reality's the case like when you spit in the wind, it might come back in your face." Some people simply can't handle the truth. the truth is such a brutal thing sometimes, the truth in any capacity is a harsh reality good or bad. I think we struggle, I know I do. I'm an honest man, but I also don't want to make people to take

If you keep track of my posts you probably have one thing you know for sure... men and women are vastly different. Many of our differences are not made by nature but sometimes more by nurture. Like I eluded to in "Mr. Softee" and other posts, society has control over how we live and how we want to be perceived. There is an interesting dichotomy I'd like to explore today. It is my observation that women have a mental toughness sexually than men. What am I saying? Women have this ability (uncanny to us men) to stop having sex for long periods and seemingly be proud of it. Fellas like myself sometimes scratch our heads at the idea...kind of saying what's the point? But we fail to realize that men and women live in different worlds We men come from a world where we aren't criticized for much. We truly have a sexual freedom in society that I know women would love to have. It doesn't mean she's going to hoe around a bunch, but to have `options in life is one of

I think if you speak to every experienced male out there you will get the same answer on their take on women. In it's most basic form they would probably say that you cant live with women, and you can't live without them. As much as we men may piss off these women as well, I have a need to feel they feel almost the same way. At this stage in the game women have a real firm grasp on how they think they can manipulate men. We are way too simple, we don't see a need to complicate anything. Women usually wonder why we we're not as complex except in one facet. These ladies have it figured out how men will usually pay for their transgressions. It comes down to what I affectionately call the poon. The poon is what I call a gift and a curse, it has so many benefits, but also it's drawbacks. We men often try to nullify situations to keep peace of mind, and then also to keep the poon in tact. Men don't want to jeopardize the poon. Being that these ladies have it figured

We are conditioned from a young age....when i say "we" I mean men. So many little things go on while we're young that subconsciously tell us "how to be a man." These phrases may look familiar to you...... "Why are you crying?" "Stop acting like a girl" "Man Up" "Be a man" We believe in all of these phrases, but we just never took the time to realize it. We lived our lives making sure we weren't on the receiving ends of these phrases. But I think it's time we cut all that baloney out and be realistic. We are men, but we are not impervious to emotion. I'm as much of a victim to believing these things as as anyone else but when you feel different emotions you can't continue to lie to your self. When someone elicits or invokes emotions out of you it's for a reason. It doesn't necessarily they mean they have a control over you, but obviously good or bad they mean something to you. Let's recognize tha

You should enjoy any opportunity to thank someone or compliment someone. Many times we get caught up in the excitement of receiving things, but I urge you to appreciate the gesture. When I say to give a token of appreciation I don't necessarily mean anything material. Please and thank you are the magic words as Barney once told us. To be gracious is a special thing. Many people aren't gracious and are not seen positively for it. I say that to say this, in your relationships you should feel appreciated for who you are and the things you do. A compliment goes a long way even if he or she tries to play it off. Take pride in making someone feel good. Tell your lady or your man thank you when they do something right. Make sure they know you appreciate them doing things... even when it's not even asked of them. The smallest things can make the biggest of changes. At the end of the day the feeling of someone being wanted or appreciated is priceless. When the going gets rough it ma

We're all used to the phrases "Easier said than done," and "Saying is one thing and doing is another." I can honestly say sometimes we are all victims of this. We all could stand to help improve these things as well. I have many philosophies and strategies as it pertains to life, academics, and relationships. I think about these ideas constantly and I try to follow through with the examples i set for myself. Doing this is easier said than done. But we have to adapt, it has to be "done." I can sit here and give a multitude of advice, which I love to do, but sometimes I fail in even my eyes. Sometimes I'm not in the communicating mood, or sometimes I'm just not sure about how to approach an issue. You have to be honest with yourself. There's nothing wrong with falling short, but have the wisdom to know that you are falling short. The right thing to do is to take steps to correct. None of us are perfect,and we never will be, but we have to re

A while back I did a post called "Different Strokes for Different Folks." In that post I talked about how we all see beauty differently. I guess you can look at my post today as sort of a sequel to that post. I've posed this question before but what makes someone attractive? Let's keep it funky, yes personality counts for so much. I totally agree with that. Personality will take you where looks can't as I can definitely attest. But for argument's sake let's say you and someone else share the same interest, or passion. That may make them more appealing to the person you are... but does it make them physically appealing? Let's say "Precious" (above) loved being a humanitarian, and you (a guy) did as well. You guys get along great, the best personality ever! Do you deal? Granted this can be seen as an exaggerated scenario... no pun intended but does her interest make her that much more appealing? What I'm saying is swagger can't alway